Bryan Strauchan

Infobox afl player NEW
playername = Bryan Strauchan
fullname = Bryan Keith Strauchan

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image capt = Bryan Strauchan at the 2008 Australian Grand Prix Celebrity Challenge
birthdate = 1984
birthplace = Horsham, Victoria
originalteam = Horsham Reserves
draftpick = Collingwood Football Club
dead = alive
deathdate =
deathplace =
currentclub = Collingwood Football Club
guernsey = 59
years = 2004 –
clubs = Collingwood Football Club
games(goals) = 0 (0)
sooyears = 2007 –
sooteams = Victoria
soogames(goals) = 2 (3)
coach = notcoach
coachingteams =
statsend = 2008
repstatsend = 2008
careerhighlights =

* Final Pick National Draft 2004
* E. J. Whitten Legends Game 2007, 2008 [cite web |url=http://www.theage.com.au/news/sport/strauchanie-a-legend-yep-its-official/2007/06/05/1180809519029.html |title=Strauchanie a legend? Yep, it's official |accessdate= |accessmonthday= |accessdaymonth= |accessyear= |author= |last= |first= |authorlink= |coauthors= |date= |year= |month= |format= |work= |publisher= |pages= |language= |doi= |archiveurl= |archivedate= |quote= ]
* Co-Captain of Victoria (2008)
* Captain of All-Asian Team of the Century

Bryan Keith Strauchan (born 1984 in Horsham, Victoria) is a fictional Australian rules football player who played for Collingwood Football Club in the Australian Football League, portrayed by comedian Peter Helliar on the popular football show Before the Game. He is the son of Roy and Soy Bean Strauchan.

Football career

Collingwood Football Club (2004 – present)

Last pick in the 2004 National Draft, Strauchan's progress has been hampered by weight issues, lack of speed and skills that require considerable work. Wearing number 59, he has yet to make his AFL debut, however Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse has hinted that promotion may be around the corner. Strauchan was named in the senior team for the Collingwood vs. Sydney game 2005 but locked himself in the stairwell by accident, subsequently missing the game. He also has his own AFL footy card which describes all of his mediocre abilities. Strauchan also hosted the first part of the 2006 Brownlow Medal. Controversy was sparked last year when a drug test came back positive for very high levels of MSG.

Mick Malthouse admits that Strauchan is hot property: he's probably only just behind Buckley, Rocca, Fraser, Licuria, Didak, Burns, Clement, Wakelin, Lockyer, Davis, Maxwell, O'Brien, Walker, Swan, Richards, Lonie, Rowe, The Clokes, Holland, Prestigiacomo, Johnson, Caracella, Rusling, Fanning, O'Bree, the Shaws, and Chris Egan, oh and don't forget Scotty Pendlebury and Dale 'Superstar' Thomas in terms of marketability.

Bryan Strauchan suffers from a severe peanut allergy. He claims that the reason he was not selected for play is that selectors are biased against Asians.

At the end of the 2006 season, Strauchanie was caught being with a teammate's girlfriend, despite dating Christi Malthouse in the show.

Bryan Strauchan had slept with 8 members of the Collingwood Cheer Squad as of September 2007.

Celebrity appearances

Strauchan appeared in the 2007 AFL membership commercial. Strauchan played in the 2007 EJ Whitten Legends Game on 13 June. Playing most of the game, he failed to capitalise on an early opportunity from a tough angle, but was able to kick a goal after being given a controversial free kick early in the third quarter. Strauchanie was then able to set up an opportunity for a goal in the fourth quarter, sparking thoughts of a Victoria comeback. Strauchan was also named in the match, and was also made co-captain before the match began. He had a successful game, kicking 2 goals.

Strauchan appeared in the Gillette Fusion Twenty20 Celebrity Challenge, a charity cricket match played for the Shane Warne Foundation. During the broadcast of this match, commentator Tony Greig failed to correctly pronounce Strauchanie's name. Greig incorrectly referred to him as "Straw - ch - nee."

Carlton Football Club rumours

In August 2007 Carlton coach Brett Ratten was pleased to announce at the Spirit of Carlton luncheon that the club had decided on the first pick for next year, no matter at what selection Carlton has its first pick. "We have made a decision and I would like to welcome to the Carlton Football Club Bryan Strauchan", Ratten said when introducing comedian Peter Helliar, aka Bryan Strauchan.

There are now rumours that he will be traded to Carlton at year's end, as described on one of his footy cards, which quotes him as saying, "I just don't get the respect at Collingwood, I've been thinking of a move to Carlton Football Club since I heard they don't train".

However when the 2008 AFL draft came alone Carlton did not pick Strauchanie with their first round pick they decided to go with Matthew Kreuzer. This meant that Strauchanie stayed with the Collingwood football club for another year.

Media

The show Before The Game have a segment in their show where when they are going on a commercial break, they broadcast an approximately 2-5 minute video of what's going on in Strauchanie's life.

Merchandise

Strauchan is releasing his autobiography "Bryan Strauchan - my story: the rise and rise of a genuine superstar of Australian sport". In it Strauchan talks about his Horsham days, playing for Collingwood, and being Chinese. Strauchanie released his autobiography in front of a packed media conference at Collingwood's headquarters, the Lexus Centre, with Nathan Buckley helping promote it. The first 100 copies bought from the Lexus Centre will be personally signed by Bryan Strauchan.

A DVD featuring all of Strauchan's mini clips was released in late August/early September 2006 in Australia. This DVD is titled as "Strauchanie - Pure B.S.".

References

ee also

* Peter Helliar