Nair ceremonies and customs

Nair (Malayalam: നായര്‍, pronounced [naːjar]), also spelt Nayar, is the name of a Hindu forward caste from the South Indian state of Kerala.

Earlier customs and traditions

Marumakkathayam and Tharavadu

Main article: Tharavadu

Main article: Marumakkathayam

Kalarippayattu

Main article: Kalarippayattu

Sambandham (an earlier form of marriage) and related customs

In the past Nairs had three major marriage/rite of passage ceremonies.

Kettu Kalyanam (mock marriage ceremony)

Main article: Kettu Kalyanam

Sambandham/Podamuri/Pudava Koda/Mundukoda (casual marriage alliance)

Main article: Sambandham

The Sambandham ritual is less auspicious than the thaali and puberty rites, and literally means "alliance" or "relationship". It was the customary institution that framed casual marriage alliances between men and women following marumakkathayam. This ritual marks the union of the bride and groom and was not necessarily a permanent arrangement.^[1][2] However it was this innate weakness of sambandham that helped maintaining the integrity of the matrilineal tharavadu.

Sambandham denoted hypergamy between Nair women and Namboothiri men as well as reciprocal^{[citation needed]} marriage among Nairs.^[3] However such an alliance was not recognized as constituting marriage by Namboothiri Brahmins as well as by colonial courts but was seen as comparable to concubinage.^[2] Some research^[which?] says that namboodri women were married to nair men and in some cases, were concubines of nair warriors to earn the patronage of kshatriya nairs. Two reasons cited for this were that dissolution of sambandham was fairly easy and that it did not give rise to property relations. Though viewed by some Namboothiri Brahmins and European commentators as immoral, allied with polyandry, or even prostitution, sambandham was nothing of that sort for the Nair women. Sambandham essentially gave a Nair woman the liberty to initiate, consent to, or terminate a sexual relationship with any man and thereby formed one of the foundations of matrilineality. In addition, Nair women were autonomous, self-reliant, and enjoyed greater personal freedom than women in the rest of India.^[4] William Logan in his Malabar Manual, page 136 says:

“

Although the theory of the law sanctions freedom in these relations, conjugal fidelity is very general. Nowhere is the marriage tie - albeit informal - more rigidly observed or respected, nowhere is it more jealously guarded or its neglect more savagely avenged. The very looseness of the law makes the individual observance closer; for people have more watchful care over things they are liable to lose.

”

In case of sambandham with Namboothiri men, the system benefited both the Namboothiri Brahmins as well as matrilineal castes like the Nairs for two reasons. First, Namboothiri Brahmins had institutionalized primogeniture, permitting only the eldest son to marry within the caste. Younger sons (also called aphans) in Namboothiri families were expected to establish sambandham with Nair and Ambalavasi (temple service castes) women. Secondly, Nair families encouraged the sambandham arrangement with Namboothiri men, thereby increasing their tharavadu and caste status.^[5]

Current ceremonies and customs

Thirandukalyanam (announcement and celebration of puberty)

The Thirandukalyanam ceremony was the puberty ceremony, during which femininity is celebrated as women occupy the parts of the household typically inhabited by men.^[6]

Notes and references

1. ^ Karl, R. (2003) Women in Practice: A Comparative Analysis of Gender and Sexuality in India. 2003 Marleigh Grayer Ryan Student Prize [1]; Moore, M. (1998) Symbol and Meaning in Nayar Marriage Ritual, American Ethnologist 15:254-73
2. ^ ^{a b} Report of the Malabar Marriage Commission (henceforth RMMC) I (Madras: Lawrence Asylum Press, 1891), p. 98. Appendix A, Home Judicial Proceedings (May 1896), no. 245±55, Part B. National Archives of India (henceforth NAI)
3. ^ Praveena Kodoth, Courting Legitimacy or Delegitimizing Custom? Sexuality, Sambandham, and Marriage Reform in Late Nineteenth-CenturyMalabar, Modern Asian Studies 35, 2 (2001), pp. 349-384. Ó 2001 Cambridge University Press Printed in the United Kingdom
4. ^ Jane L Parpart, M Patricia Connelly, V Eudine Barriteau (2000). Theoretical Perspectives on Gender and Development. IDRC. p. 44. ISBN 0889369100. 
5. ^ Dirks, Nicholas. Homo Hierarchies: Origins of an Idea. Castes of Mind. Princeton: Princeton University Press 2001.
6. ^ Travancore State Manual by Nagam Aiya