David Funston

David Funston- Born in Walthamstow in 1903, he has risen from the depths of poverty to be come the Headmaster of Lisneal College, one of the finest learning institutes to ever grace the crescent link coming only after Tescos Express.

During the first World war, David played a vital role in the First Battle of the Marne in which he led the entire B.E.F into action against the German Army to halt their advance across the River. After this bravery, in which he was honoured with a BSc, he switched sides and became, along with Mr Terence Wright, one of the hated November Criminals blamed for the fall of the empire in 1918.

After his brief spell in the forces, he moved to America were he found a starring role alongside Gregory Peck in the classic film To Kill A Mocking Bird playing the much meligned character Boo Radley.

After a brief fling with the famous saucepot Marlene Dietrich, he found his true calling was teaching and so it was with a heavy heart that this fine figure of a man, moved away from his life as a soldier, actor and all round corking good chap and has taken up residence in the parocial house on Craggy Island were he commutes to work every day in a hovercraft designed by 5th year technology pupils at Lisneal.

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