Fag stag

Fag stag (also stag hag) is a portmanteau of "fag" and "stag" thats use originated in the United States in the 1990s.cite book
last = Green
first =Jonathon
page =485
isbn =0304366366
title=Cassell's Dictionary of Slang: A Major New Edition of the Market-leading Dictionary of Slang
publisher=Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
date=2006
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=5GpLcC4a5fAC
accessdate=2008-07-23] cite book
last = Reuter
first =Donald F.
page =198
isbn =0312354274
title=Gay-2-zee: A Dictionary of Sex, Subtext, and the Sublime
publisher=Macmillan
date=2006
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=7FpPbfVRm3MC
accessdate=2008-07-23] A "fag stag" is a heterosexual man who either enjoys the company of, or simply has numerous friends that are gay men.cite book
last = Peckham
first =Aaron
page =100
isbn =0740768751
title=Mo' Urban Dictionary: Ridonkulous Street Slang Defined
publisher=Andrews McMeel Publishing
date=2007
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=u27ferHysRMC
accessdate=2008-07-23] The term "fag stag" is a male equivalent to the more common "fag hag".cite web
last = "The Single Guy"
first =Jorge
title=Single in the City: Fag Stag
publisher=Generation Q Media
date=29 June 2006
url =http://www.generationq.net/articles/Single-in-the-City-Fag-Stag-00001.html
accessdate=2008-07-23] This is part of "hag"-ism, the identification of a person with a group - usually united in terms of sexuality, gender identity or shared sex - which they are not officially a member of.cite book
last = Baker
first =Paul
page =140
isbn =0826473431
title=Fantabulosa: A Dictionary of Polari and Gay Slang
publisher=Continuum International Publishing Group
date=2004
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=T72TJfZoywAC
accessdate=2008-07-23] The terms can be used as pejoratives or as an insider term of endearment within LGBT communities.cite book
last = Self
first =Will
page =85
isbn =0826473431
title=Dorian: An Imitation
publisher=Grove Press
date=2004
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=nVH4uB_oy54C
accessdate=2008-07-23] cite book
last = Adams
first =Kylie
page =204
isbn =0758210736
title=Ex-girlfriends
publisher=Kensington Books
date=2005
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=Damk_X3FB4UC
accessdate=2008-07-23] cite web
last = Ordona
first =Robert
title=State of Gay Unions: The "Fag Stag"
publisher=Planet Out Inc
date=2008
url =http://www.gay.com/news/roundups/package.html?sernum=6315
accessdate=2008-07-23]

Motivations

A fag stag can be attracted to as well as comfortable around gay men and their motivations can be friendship as well as benefits of befriending gay men in general.cite book
last = Reuter
first =Donald F.
page =69
isbn =0312354274
title=Gay-2-zee: A Dictionary of Sex, Subtext, and the Sublime
publisher=Macmillan
date=2006
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=7FpPbfVRm3MC
accessdate=2008-07-23] cite book
last = Baker
first =Paul
page =118
isbn =0826473431
title=Fantabulosa: A Dictionary of Polari and Gay Slang
publisher=Continuum International Publishing Group
date=2004
url =http://books.google.com/books?id=T72TJfZoywAC
accessdate=2008-07-23] Fag stags can benefit socially from many of the perceived stereotypes of gay men. For instance, fashion advice, socializing skills, matchmaking, differing perspectives, heightened humor and freedom from heterosexual expectations.cite web
last = Ilagan
first =Alan Bennett
title=The Fag-Stag
publisher=AlanIlagan.com
date=2008
url =http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:SNufISYtcGMJ:www.alanilagan.com/pdf/fagstag.pdf+%22fag+stag%22+-wikipedia&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=27&gl=us
accessdate=2008-07-23] " [S] eeing who is tougher, stronger, who has the cooler car, and putting you down even though they say they are joking, but the gay guys I've met don't care about being 'manly' all the time". Also is the benefit of access to women, many who may also identify as fag hags, and more socially liberal attitudes. Another possible motivation is that the fag stag will not find the relationship threatening as the stag pursues women whereas generally the gay men will not. Fag stags may also simply enjoy the attention they get from being in gay environments like gay bars, clubs or beaches.

Gay men can also benefit from the relationship with a fag stag as writer Alan Bennett Ilagan points out, "...rites of passage for so many straight guys would be missing from my life if I had chosen to limit myself to the girls I felt safe and comfortable around." He also notes there is less drama in a straight man's world and the use of "lengthy emotional discussions" is often replaced with shorthand expressions - "something every gay could stand to learn". Another benefit for gay guys is a fag stag's sense of style which can help the gay guy increase their "manliness". Some self-identified fag-stags, however, counter that these are stereotypes and straight guys can be into gossip just as much, for example, and that gay guys don't necessarily dress better. Regardless all involved within these nontraditional pairings can find liberation from stereotypes and poke fun at many un-politically correct taboos of the "gay-straight divide". There is also the emergence of metrosexual culture which also supports that straight guys can exhibit the same stereotypes of gay men. Another possible benefit is that LGBT people, possibly because of cultural bias or perceived rejection in their upbringing, "are much better than straight people at carving a family out of their friendships".cite web
last = Doonan
first = Simon
title=Toodle-oo, Dear Old Dad: A manly Mr. Fix-It who would tear up at Maria Callas, Terence Sydney Doonan was the ultimate anti-bourgeois parent
publisher = The New York Observer
date=4 June 2007
url =http://www.observer.com/2007/toodle-oo-dear-old-dad
accessdate=2008-07-24]

Coming out

Another motivation for some fag stags is that they are still in the process of coming out or coming to terms with their homosexuality or bisexuality; with some simply being bi-curious. Being a fag stag, the "straight" guy in a relationship, can be a form of dealing with closetedness using gay guys as a beard.

Usage

The phrase is beginning to be used more often as homosexuality becomes more readily accepted and has gained international use as well.cite web
last = Cohen
first =Mo
title=Deconstructing Fag Hags
publisher=Rearguard Monthly Alternative
date=2006
url =http://www.therearguard.pdx.edu/RG2006_11article_fagHags.html
accessdate=2008-07-23] cite web
last = David
first =Marianne
title=Beyond the Flamboyant Façade, The Flip Side
publisher=The Nation
date=3 June 2007
url =http://www.nation.lk/2007/06/03/eyefea6.htm
accessdate=2008-07-24] Mainstream shows such as "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy", "Queer as Folk", "Will & Grace", "Aussie Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and others explore the mainstreaming of friendships where differing sexualities play a compliment rather than impediment to friendships and social situations.cite web
last = Sohn
first =Amy
title=Mano a Mano: Much has been made about how a “Queer Eye” can benefit a straight guy. But there is no shortage of gay men who would welcome a little straightening out.
publisher=New York Magazine
date=13 October 2003
url =http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/columns/nakedcity/n_9344/
accessdate=2008-07-24] cite web
last = Heinrich
first =Karen
title=The Great Gender Bender: Heterosexual men no longer feel the need to keep their gay friends in the closet.
publisher=The Age
date=22 May 2003
url =http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/05/22/1053196672068.html
accessdate=2008-07-24] As well, homophobia is no longer considered as acceptable and efforts to confront violence and hostility towards sexual and gender minorities such as gay-straight alliance has lifted some of the stigma of having LGBT people as close friends. "Fag Stag" was the name of a 2002 episode of the MTV series "Undressed" centered around a gay wedding.cite web
title="Undressed": Girls Interrupted (2002)
publisher=IMDb.com, Inc.
date=2008
url =http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0948385/
accessdate=2008-07-23] cite web
title=Plot summary for "Undressed"
publisher=IMDb.com, Inc.
date=2008
url =http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0948385/plotsummary
accessdate=2008-07-23] When "Radar" magazine debuted, its founder and editor-in-chief, Maer Roshan, called competitor "Details"' editor-in-chief Dan Peres, a "professional fag stag". Stating " [l] et's get one thing straight, Peres is not gay. But his magazine sure seems to be."cite web
last = Romenesko
first =Jim
title=Radar's Roshan says Details is an awfully gay magazine
publisher=New York Post
date=11 April 2003
url =http://www.poynter.org/column.asp?id=45&aid=29576&
accessdate=2008-07-24] A "fag stag" can also mean a male gay icon - a celebrity that is loved by the gay community who have "gay buddies" such as Ben Affleck, Eric McCormack, Justin Timberlake, Colin Farrell, Matthew Broderick and Robbie Williams.cite web
last = Millar
first =Iain
title=The Critics: Channel Hopper - Budluck, bareness and other scourges
publisher=The Independent on Sunday
date=5 October 2003
url =http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4159/is_20031005/ai_n12746998
accessdate=2008-07-24]

ee also

* Gaydar

References

* Flynn, Paul: "Does Your Gay Friend Fancy You?" "Arena" (September 2007): 128-131.

External links

* [http://gaylife.about.com/cs/gaylifeglossary/g/fagstag.htm "Fag Stag"] from About.com's Gay Lifestyle section
* [http://www.alanilagan.com/pdf/fagstag.pdf "The Fag-Stag"]