Sorry, I've Got No Head

Articleissues
colloquial = September 2008
in-universe = September 2008
or = September 2008
unreferenced = September 2008

Sorry, I've Got No Head is a BBC children's comedy sketch show. The same cast constantly reappears as different characters. They are Will Andrews, David Armand, James Bachman, Marcus Brigstocke, Anna Crilly, Justin Edwards, Mark Evans, Mel Giedroyc, Marek Larwood, Nick Mohamed. It is written by Toby Davies, Mark Evans, Chris Reddy, Justin Edwards, David Armand and many others.

Regular Cast

* Will Andrews
* David Armand
* James Bachman
* Marcus Brigstocke
* Anna Crilly
* Justin Edwards
* Mark Evans
* Mel Giedroyc
* Marek Larwood
* Nick Mohamed

Sketches

The Jumpy VikingsA group of Vikings that sit in a room and play with various items with which they are not familiar. These items vary from modern things such as balloons to simply foreign ones like a cuckoo clock. With every object, the Vikings (who are supposed to be fearsome) are scared and jump in fright.

North BarassayA documentary about a school on the small Scottish island of North Barasay. The documentary follows the schools one and only teacher and her one and stupid student, Ross, who continue with regular school activities such as a disco or sports day, completely oblivious to the fact they are generally impossible with only one student.

WizardAn elderly wizard who tries to help in modern day scenarios using magic, however always fails miserably. In the sixth episode he used magic just to put up a tent

Bill"The headless guy".The character after which the program is named. Bill tries in every sketch to participate in a normal activity, such as playing football, however always fails to do so properly due to not having a head.

Time MachineA man who is always bored when his friend is doing something he really wants to do. The man then gets out of his time machine and his friend snatches it off him. The friend then states that he was going to go into the future and tell him a vital piece of information concerning whatever it was the friend was doing. The man then denies it and makes up a feeble reason for going into the future. The friend gives him back his time machine, he goes into the future and tells him exactly what he had just denied he was going to tell him.

Harry BoldA man who does various adventurous things, such as parachute jumping or rafting, and uses many unnecessary items the 'bloke in the shop' said he needed. He then does whatever the thing is and comes out in a mess, stating "No, it's not for me, like".

Value For Money ParentsA boy does well with something at school, and his parents reward him in some way. However, whatever it is they give him has a catch, i.e they have not included something vital to it and he is not able to use his present.

The BluebeardsA pirate boy who goes to a school in which everyone else is a sailor. He is then discriminated against in some way due to him being a pirate. His parents (Mr and Mrs Bluebeard) then find out and are outraged. The sketch always ends with the person who had been doing the discriminating walking the plank.

A Thousand PoundsTwo old ladies who meet a man in the street. He is selling something and describes it to the ladies. They then express their liking of the thing, saying "lovely man", and the man is pleased. However, when it comes to the topic of the price, the old ladies then say "Oh, well I suppose it's what things cost these days." One lady then turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't think you'll get much change out of a thousand pounds for that!" The man then says the object costs some small amount and the ladies seem outraged, saying "A thousand pounds?" They walk off, disgusted, saying "Nasty man," which contradicts them saying "lovely man" earlier.

Witchfinder GeneralA man dressed in Puritanical clothes is in a shop. If he gets impatient or doesn't get his way, he loudly accuses the offending person of being a witch, at which point a mob of pre-Restoration peasantry arrive and carry the accused off saying, "Witch, shes a witch!"

Imaginary FriendA boy who thinks he has a imaginary friend but hasn't. When the person says "I can see him" the boy says that's because I've imagined him so much. When the man asks for two of whatever they are having/buying, the imaginary friend says "I can't have that" the man says "He can't have that." The person has to do all things pretend and normally ends up doing it wrong. When the person gets distracted the imaginary friend starts doing/playing with what ever they were doing/playing.

The Shouty Choir A choir who always shout the songs at the top of their lungs, tuneless and noisy.

Paintball ManiaA man who goes around splatting regular people with a paintgun, shouting "Paintball Mania!". The people defend themselves from the paint and so he says "That's the top coat".

Big BeePeople get disrupted by a constant buzzing in the room. The people then look around the room and say "Is there a bee in here?" The camera then shows that there is a massive person in the room dressed as a bee and the people continue to seem oblivious to it.

Video GamesThree characters from various different video games congregate in a room after the game is over. One is a foreign woman wearing a thick pink coat who appears in a skiing game. One is a skunk in a red suit with a squeaky voice who appears in a game to do with exploding apples. And one is a posh man with long brown hair wearing a green outfit who appears in a fantasy game. This sketch is one of the few sketches that is not almost exactly the same every time.

CookA lady who stands in a kitchen giving cooking tips to the viewers watching. However, every time she eats or mentions blueberries she spontaneously farts. It is not yet known why this happens to her with blueberries, and not raspberries as it would be originally expected.

GothA goth who appears in various different fictional television programs and all he says is "black". Because of this, everything that comes out at the end of the program comes out black and horrible. He then states he likes it.

Old MenTwo old men who sit at a table or hospital bed and talk about a dead person who has done something supposedly amazing. They then talk about how they would like a particular popstar. Finally, one of them state how the dead person died, and it is always something stupid such as 'fell off his Shetland Pony'.

The AuditioneesTwo people who audition for hundreds of West End shows, and dress in expensive costumes for the auditions. They always do something stupid so never get the parts.

Beat the School RunA mother who tries to get her son to school without having to use the car, due to lots of traffic that has just been broadcast on the radio. In order to do this, she always thinks up some far-fetched plan such as using teleports or rocket-boots. However, she always fails miserably and so ends by saying "I'll get the car keys, shall I?...."

The Secret NegotiatorA women who helps people get things they want by talking them through it using a bluetooth. In the end a bad thing always happens to the person trying to get their own way.

Sheep Obsesed SageAn incompetant, sheep obsesed Sage who used to be a shepherd & always answers a question by comering humans With sheep i.e says the meaning of life is eating grass, getting your wool made into jumpers etc. At the end the person talking to him says he's a rubbish sage & walks off.

Incompetent PolicemanA policeman who will arrest anybody for anything (like eating a packet of crisps). The man on the intercom trys to talk sense into him.

Zero Imagination FatherThe parents of a baby boy come to tell him a bedtime story. First the mother says a line from a nursery rhyme making the father proceed into explaining how ridiculous it is.

Story Telling SonThe sketch starts off with a father telling his son a bedtime story with then prompts the son to tell a story based on what his dad just told him about what has recently happened to him & then the dad asks how that could be possible.

"I'm A Bit out of my depth here"A man who gets a job as something like a vet & says stupid things at the end of the sketch he says hes a bit out of his depth & tells whoever that he wanted to be something a bit more talented i.e a juggler, prompting a policeman to run up to him & yell "Oi i've warned you about this before", prompting the first man to run of the the policeman chasing him.

TOP TESTA man tries out the latest high tech technology, which are all a load of rubbish.

WavemanA man who starts off a Mexican wave out of boredom & boos anybody who does not do it with him.