Lil' Crime Stoppers

Infobox Television episode
Title = Lil' Crime Stoppers
Series = South Park


Caption = The boys visit their local precinct
Season = 7
Episode = 102
Airdate = April 23, 2003
Production = 706
Writer = Trey Parker
Director =
Guests =
Episode list = List of "South Park" episodes
Season list = Infobox South Park season 7 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"Lil' Crime Stoppers" is episode 706 of the Comedy Central series "South Park." It originally aired on April 23, 2003.

Plot

The boys decide to play detective and go around the town solving minor "crimes." They first investigate the disappearance of a pie left sitting on the windowsill of an elderly couple's home. After examining the scene of the crime, they come to the conclusion (based on no evidence at all) that the husband wanted the pie, but as his wife wouldn't allow him to eat it yet, he decided to brutally murder her and dispose her body in a gruesome manner. Before he could go through with the plan though, the pie had already been eaten by their dog, where the boys found it. Horrified by their outrageous accusations, the couple hurriedly send them away but not before giving them the dollar they had promised.

The detectives next case involves the recovery of a little girl's stolen doll. They first suspect Butters (for no particular reason) and demand that he remain in Cartman's bathroom to produce a semen sample. They then get a tip, which they follow, and manage to recover the doll from Bill and Fosse's house, though they had to wrestle the case away from some kids playing FBI. The recovery gets them recognized by the Park County PD, and they are made Junior Detectives. However, the police lieutenant then begins to assign them cases that should be reserved for "full" detectives, including busting a meth lab. Not knowing what a meth lab is, they simply announce "open up, police" and the criminals end up killing themselves trying to shoot the boys.

Other detectives mock the boys, and it is revealed to them that many of the cops on the force are corrupt and that the boys can do nothing to stop it (though they don't really plan to, or even care for that matter). The boys are then sent to a strip club owned by the leader of Colorado's greatest drug cartel, who was behind the original meth lab. When they arrive a shoot-out ensues, though the boys have nothing more than hands which they pretend are guns (while yelling "bang bang").

Cops show up to give the boys backup, but it turns out that two of them are working with the cartel leader, and they shoot the one good cop, though the man survives. They then kill the cartel owner, so that together they get all the money; one of those cops then kills the other, and then the last person he can't trust, himself. The boys are credited with cleaning up the police force and are offered positions as full detectives. The boys, however, find reality more intense than their game, and decide to play laundromat instead, returning to Cartman's basement. Butters then arrives, declaring that, having tried for the entire episode, he has managed to produce a semen sample (he credits thinking about Stan's Mom's breasts). They proudly compliment him for doing so, however, they aren't playing detective anymore, so they no longer want a semen sample, though Cartman offers Butters to have his pants cleaned for $4.95.

Censorship

The syndicated version of this episode has edited the following scenes:
*The breasts on the crude drawing of the missing doll are blurred out.
*The scene of the man murdering and dismembering is wife is shown in black and white and has most of the graphic scenes cropped out.
*The scene of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny showering in the locker room has the boys' rear ends digitally blurred out.