How Time Flys

Infobox Album |
Name = "How Time Flys"
Type = Album
Artist = David Ossman and the Firesign Theatre


Released = 1973
Recorded = 1973
Genre = Comedy
Length = 40:55
Label = Columbia
Director = David Ossman and Steve Gillmor
Producer = Steve Gillmor
Reviews =
Last album =
This album = "How Time Flys"
(1973)
Next album =

"How Time Flys" is a comedy album written by David Ossman and featuring the voice talents of all four members of The Firesign Theatre plus several other contributors. It was originally released by Columbia Records in 1973.

Track listing

ide one

"NIGHTSIDE" – "DECEMBER 31, 1999" (24:10)

* "CUT 1" – "Mark's Awakening (Midnight)" (4:40)
* "CUT 2" – "The Years In Your Ears" with Jim & Nellie Houseafire (recorded in May 1995)" (6:30)
* "CUT 3" – "Tweeny and "The Welcome Home" (pre-programmed in October 1995)" (10:55)
* "CUT 4" – "Manny, "Shortstop", and Lady Ann (Dawn)" (2:05)

ide two

"DAYSIDE" – "DECEMBER 31, 1999" (16:45)

* "CUT 1" – "Consumer Instruction Section with Patsy Pending & Bruno Uvula (Manditory)" (2:10)
* "CUT 2" – "Mark, Mr. Motion, and The Memory Loops with Manny and "Shortstop" aboard the "Gilda" (Noon)" (8:05)
* "CUT 3" – "Emergency Program Over-Ride with Jim Dundee and W. C. Bingle (Live from Panoramaland 2000)" (5:55)
* "CUT 4" – "The System Vs. The Black Hole (New Year's Eve)" (:45)

Plot synopsis and commentary

The album tells the story of a solo astronaut, "Mark" (David Ossman) (the same "Mark Time" character who appears in other Firesign Theatre albumscite web
url = http://laughstore.stores.yahoo.net/daoshowtifl.html
title = David Ossman - How Time Flys CD
last = Ossman
first = David
authorlink = David Ossman
date = May 2003
accessdate = 2008-04-09
publisher = laugh.com ] ), who was launched in a rocket from Earth years ago on an exploratory voyage to "Planet X". As the story opens, it is December 31 1999, and Mark's rocket is approaching Earth to finally complete its mission. Mark is awakened from hiberation by the rocket's computer system, and a light-hearted history video recorded five years earlier is played for him to bring him up-to-date on the events that have taken place on Earth during the latter half of the 20th century while he was away. Although Mark is unable to communicate with his Earth landing site, he lands anyway and is greeted by a aged launch facility and an equally aged robot, "Tweeny" (Philip Proctor), who is the sole inhabitant of what is now the "President's Memorial Space Museum". It seems that Earth society has forgotten all about Mark; there are only holographic recordings (one of which is of a now-deceased President Gazatchorn (Phil Austin) who sounds like Richard Nixon) left to welcome him and congratulate him on accomplishing his mission.

As Mark resigns himself to the end of his space career and the start of his retirement, he is drugged unconscious and kidnapped, along with the holographic recordings he made during his voyage. He awakens to find himself high above the Earth in a blimp, the guest of a "Mr. Motion" (Peter Bergman) who plans to market Mark's recordings as entertainment. Mark protests that his research should be made available to the news media and freely disseminated to the public, but Mr. Motion tells him that Mark's news would be judged as no more important than any of the other newsbites that the news media (where it's "All news, all the time") constantly publishes. Mark still protests that his information is "not entertainment, it's real", to which Mr. Motion counters that Mark simply went on location and took photos: that's entertainment.

Mr. Motion brings the blimp above a theme park, "Panoramaland 2000" (not unlike Las Vegas in 2008) that features full-size holograms of world-famous buildings and monuments, and he begins to show Mark's holograms to the public. Mark's holograms combine with the theme park holograms, and the squid-like creatures of Planet X appear to cavort around the theme park. Mark escapes from the blimp and is interviewed by the media, only to be interrupted by an emergency bulletin that announces that a black hole is approaching the Earth. The emergency announcer, however, portrays the upcoming catastrophe as just another interesting news event, albeit one that may finally provide an answer to "the question of infinity". Mark suddenly finds himself back in his rocketship, approaching Earth again; the black hole has put him into a time loop. It appears he will forever have to re-experience the day's events.

Credits

*Philip Proctor as Tweeny®
*Peter Bergman as Mr. Motion & Dr. Progresso Sweetheart
*Phil Austin as President William D. Gazatchorn
*Wolfman Jack as Jim Dundee
*Harry Shearer & Penny Nichols (a singer) as Jim & Nellie Houseafire
*Lew Irwin as W. C. Bingle
*Helena Kallianotes (one of the hitchhikers in Five Easy Pieces) as Roxanne Pavemente
*Jock Livingston (a Hollywood restaurant owner) as Gen. George "Crash" Gorgon, USAF, Ret.
*Tiny as Nurse Angela & Chuquita Bandana
*Richard Paul as "Shortstop," Manny Grossero & Bruno Uvula
*Anna Cheverton Drury as Lady Ann®
*Jon Knoll as The Ground Control Dude
*Sheilah Wells as Patsy Pending
*Freddy Burns as Himself
*Steve Gillmor as Arnie Zonker
*Mike Rozsa and Scott Weintraub
*David Ossman as "MARK"

Issues

*Stereo LP - Columbia KC-32411
*Audio CD - laugh.com 126:LGH1149.2

Miscellanea

The Stereo LP includes a stiff paper insert that can be broken apart and assembled to form a "3-D Diorama" of the album cover art, which shows Mark descending from the blimp over Panoramaland 2000.

The LP insert states that the album was written and produced from March 11 1973 to June 7 1973 "in Wally Heider Studios 3 & 4 and on location".

The title printed on the Stereo LP album, album cover, and insert is in fact the grammatically incorrect "How Time Flys".

References

*David Ossman. "How Time Flys". Columbia, 1973.