Coots and Ladders

Infobox Television episode | Title=Coots and Ladders
Series = Frasier
Season = 11
Episode = 17
Airdate = 16 March 2004
Writer = Heide Perlman
Director = Kelsey Grammer
Guests = Estelle Parsons (Opal)
Gabrielle Miller (Willa)
Helen Mirren (Babette)
Prev = Boo!
Next = Match Game
Episode list = List of Frasier episodes (Season 11)

"Coots and Ladders" is the seventeenth episode of American sitcom "Frasier" season 11, and the 258th overall.

Cast and characters

Main cast and characters

*Kelsey Grammer – Dr. Frasier Crane
*David Hyde Pierce – Dr. Niles Crane
*John Mahoney – Martin Crane
*Jane Leeves – Daphne Moon
*Peri Gilpin – Roz Doyle

Recurring cast

*Wendie Malick – Ronee Lawrence

Plot outline

Frasier is pacing up and down his apartment while a storm goes on outside. Niles arrives, annoyed at being called away from the “gifted infants’ toy expo”, and Frasier confesses that he has committed a crime, punishable by US law. There then follows a flashback while he explains:

Frasier has been having a bad day. During his radio show he came down with a coughing fit and Roz had to advise his kleptomaniac caller, Babette, after which she claimed he had been dispensing the same advice for ten years. He was later turned down by an attractive woman who had parked her car in his space, and cornered at his front door by an elderly neighbour who said she could set her watch by his routine. He also did not appreciate coming home to two happy couples – Niles and Daphne, and Martin and Ronee – while he himself is still single. Calling round to change a light bulb for his neighbour, he learned that even she is still dating at the age of 83. At this point in the story, Niles learns of Frasier’s crime: he surreptitiously stole an item from one of her shelves, just for the thrill. However, now he is plagued by guilt, and wants Niles’ help in returning the item, in case he feels the urge to steal again. Unfortunately, neither of them realises the importance of the stolen object.

Episode Title Cards

*"How to deal with a dim bulb"
*"Oedipal undies"

Memorable Quotations

"Frasier’s neighbour asks him to change a light bulb for her"
Opal: The last time I tried, I fell off the ladder, and I lay on my back like…
Frasier: Like a helpless turtle?
Opal: No, like a half hour till the ambulance came.

"Niles does not want to get involved in undoing Frasier’s criminal activity"
Frasier: Fine, I’ll do it myself! Here, hold this for me. "(hands Niles the stolen item)"
Niles: What for?
Frasier: Now your prints are on it too, you "have" to help me!

"Frasier claims that Niles is afraid of spiders…then also that he is afraid of heights…then also of crowds"
Frasier: You are looking at that rarest of beasts: the arachno-acro-agoraphobe!