Chinese ghost marriage

Chinese ghost marriage, also referred to as "spirit marriage", is a marriage in which one or both parties are deceased. [Stockard, Janice E. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 99.] . Other forms of ghost marriage are practiced worldwide, from Sudan, to India, to post-WWI France (see Levirate marriage, ghost marriage, posthumous marriage). The origins of Chinese ghost marriage are largely unknown, and reports of it being practiced today can still be found.

Types of ghost marriage

Chinese ghost marriage was usually set up by the family of the deceased and performed for a number of reasons, including: the marriage of a couple previously engaged before one member’s death, [Topley, Marjorie. “Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese” p. 29.] to integrate an unmarried daughter into a patrilineage, [Stockard, Janice E. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 82.] to ensure the family line is continued, [Topley, Marjorie. “Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese” p. 29.] or to maintain that no younger brother is married before an elder brother. [Ibid.]

Previously engaged

Upon the death of her fiancé, a bride could choose to go through with the wedding, in which the groom was represented by a white cockerel at the ceremony. [Ibid.] However, some girls were hesitant since this form of ghost marriage required her to participate in the funeral ritual, mourning customs (including strict dress and conduct standards), take a vow of celibacy, [Ibid.] and immediately take up residence with his family. [Stockard, Janice E. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 91.] A groom also had the option of marrying his late fiancée, with no disadvantages, but there have been no records of such weddings. [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese" p. 29.]

Women and ghost marriage

Providing a deceased daughter with a patrilineage

When it comes to death customs, an unmarried Chinese woman has no descendants to worship her or care for her as part of a lineage. [Martin, Emily Ahern. "The Cult of the Dead in a Chinese Village" p. 127.] In every household, an altar is prominently displayed with the tablets of the paternal ancestors and the images of the gods. A married woman’s tablet is kept at the altar of her husband’s family, [Freedman, Maurice. "Family and Kinship in Chinese Society" p. 165.] however, should a woman of eligible age pass away unmarried, her family is prohibited from placing her tablet on the altar of her natal home. [Stockard, Janice E. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 83.] Instead, she will be “given a temporary paper tablet, placed not on the domestic altar but in a corner near the door.” [Ibid.] Hence, the important duty of Chinese parents in marrying off their children [Ikels, Charlotte. "Parental Perspectives ont eh Significance of Marriage." p. 254.] becomes increasingly important for their daughters. Since women are only able to acquire membership in descent lines through marriage, [Wolf, Arthur P. "Studies in Chinese Society" p. 148.] ghost marriage became a viable solution to ensure that unmarried, deceased daughters still had “affiliation to a male descent line” [Stockard, Janice E. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 82.] and could be appropriately cared for after death.

Another death custom concerning an unmarried daughter prohibited her from dying in her natal home. Instead, a temple or “Death House” [ p. 71.] for spinsters was, or families take their daughter to a shed, empty house, or outlying buildings to die. [Stockard, Janice. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 82.]

Living, unmarried daughters

Not only did the Chinese customs concerning death greatly burden the family, but an unmarried daughter became a source of great embarrassment and concern. In Charlotte Ikels “Parental Perspectives on the Significance of Marriage” she reports, “Traditionally, girls who did not marry were regarded as a threat to the entire family and were not allowed to continue living at home. Even in contemporary Hong Kong, I was told that unmarried women are assumed to have psychological problems. Presumably no normal person would remain unmarried voluntarily”. [Ikels, Charlotte. "Parental Perspectives on the Significance of Marriage p. 254.] For girls that did in fact choose spinsterhood, “bride-initiated spirit marriage” (or a ghost marriage initiated by a living bride) was a successful “marriage-resistance practice” [Stockard, Janice. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 92.] that allowed them to remain single while still being integrated into a lineage. However, it did come with some negative connotations, being called a “fake spirit-marriage,” or referred to as “marrying a spirit tablet,” and “a way to avoid marriage.” [Stockard, Janice. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" pp. 92-93.]

Continuing the family line

If a son died before marriage, his parents arranged a ghost marriage in order to provide him with progeny to continue the lineage and give him his own descendants. [ pp. 419-420. As quoted by Baker, Hugh D. R. "Chinese Family and Kinship"] p. pp. 42-43.] “A man in China does not marry so much for his own benefit as for that of the family: to continue the family name; to provide descendants to keep up the ancestral worship; and to give a daughter-in-law to his mother to wait on her and be, in general, a daughter to her”. [Ibid.] A living bride was preferable as a spouse for their deceased son, but if unavailable, a suitable marriage could be set up with a young girl who had recently died. [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese." p. 29.] The ceremony itself took on characteristics of both a marriage and a funeral, with the spirit of the deceased bride being ‘led’ by a medium or priest, while her body is transferred from her grave to be laid next to her husband. [Ibid.]

If the family was “suitably rich to tempt a [living] girl,” [Ibid.] the ghost marriage might also profit them with the asset of having a daughter-in-law. Since a daughter is not considered “a potential contributor to the lineage into which she is born,” but rather “it is expected that she will give the children she bears and her adult labor to the family of her husband”, [Martin, Emily. "The Cult of the Dead in a Chinese Village" p. 127.] the wife of a deceased son would benefit her husband’s family by becoming a caregiver in their home. [Ikels, Charlotte. "Parental Perspectives on the Significance of Marriage." p. 255.]

Once the deceased son had a wife, the family could adopt an heir, or a “grandson” [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese." p. 29.] to continue on the family line. The purpose of the daughter-in-law was not to produce offspring, as she was to live a chaste life, but she became the “social instrument” to enable the family to adopt. [Stockard, Janice. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 100.] The family preferred to adopt patrilineally-related male kin, [Stockard, Janice. "Daughters of the Canton Delta" p. 95.] usually through a brother assigning one of his own sons to the lineage of the deceased. [Wolf, Arthur P. and Huang, Chieh-Shan. "Marriage and Adoption in China, 1845-1945" p. 112.] The adoption was carried out by writing up a contract, which was then placed under the dead man’s tablet. [Ibid.] As an adopted son, his duties were to make ancestral offerings on his birth and death dates, and he was additionally “entitled to inherit his foster father’s share of the family estate." [Ibid.]

Requests from the afterworld

Ghost marriages are often set up by request of the spirit of the deceased, who, upon “finding itself without a spouse in the other world,” [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese." p. 29.] causes misfortune for its natal family, the family of its betrothed, [Ibid.] or for the family of the deceased’s married sisters. [Jordan, David K. "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors." p. 141.] “This usually takes the form of sickness by one or more family members. When the sickness is not cured by ordinary means, the family turns to divination and learns of the plight of the ghost through a séance." [Ibid.]

More benignly, a spirit may appear to a family member in a dream and request a spouse. Marjorie Topley, in “Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese: A Further Note,” relates the story of one fourteen-year old Cantonese boy who died. A month later he appeared to his mother in a dream saying that he wished to marry a girl who had recently died in Ipoh, Perak. The son did not reveal her name, but his mother used a Cantonese female spirit medium and “through her the boy gave the name of the girl together with her place of birth and age, and details of her horoscope which were subsequently found to be compatible with his." [ p. 71.]

Other instances of ghost marriage

Because Chinese custom dictates that younger brothers should not marry before their elder brothers, a ghost marriage for an older, deceased brother may be arranged just prior to a younger brother’s wedding to avoid “incurring the disfavour of his brother’s ghost." [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese." p. 29.] Additionally, in the days of immigration, ghost marriages were used as a means to “cement a bond of friendship between two families." [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore." p. 30.] However, there have been no recent cases reported. [Ibid.]

Arranging a Ghost Marriage

If a family wishes to arrange a ghost marriage, they may consult with a matchmaker of sorts: In a Cantonese area of Singapore “there is in fact a ghost marriage broker’s sign hung up in a doorway of a Taoist priest’s home. The broker announces that he is willing to undertake the search for a family which has a suitable deceased member with a favourable horoscope." [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore." p. 29.]

Others do not use the aid of any priest or diviner, but believe that the groom the ghost-bride has chosen “ [will] somehow identify himself." [Martin, Emily Ahern. "The Cult of the Dead in a Chinese Village" p. 236.] Typically, the family lays a red envelope (usually used for gifts of money) as bait in the middle of the road. They then take hiding, and when the envelope is picked up by a passer-by, they come out and announce his status of being the chosen bridegroom. [Jordan, David K. "Gods, Ghosts and Ancestors" p. 140.]

Dowries and bridewealth

The exchange of bridewealth and dowries between the two families involved in a ghost marriage is quite “variable,” and families may exchange both, one or the other, or even just red money packets. [Stockard, Janice E. "Daughters of the Canton Delta." p. 98.] There is no standard amount exchanged, but several of Janice Stockard’s informants reported that the groom’s family provided the bride with a house. [Ibid.] In another reported ghost-marriage, the groom’s family sent wedding cakes and NT $120 to the brides family, who returned it with a dowry of a gold ring, gold necklace, several pairs of shoes, and six dresses “all fitted for the use of the groom’s living wife." [Wolf, Arthur P. "Studies in Chinese Society" p. 151.]

Rites of the ghost marriage ceremony

In a ghost-marriage, many of the typical marriage rites are observed. However, since one or more parties is predeceased, they are otherwise represented, most often by effigies made of paper, bamboo, [ p. 71.] or cloth. [Jordan, David K. "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors." p. 147.]

A ghost couple at their wedding feast. Featured in "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore Chinese: A Further Note," Vol. 56 of Man (May, 1956). Pp 71-72.

In the picture above, depicting a ghost-couple at their marriage feast, the bride and groom are constructed of paper bodies over a bamboo frame with a papier mâché head. [Topley, Marjorie. "Ghost Marriages Among the Singapore." p. 71.] On either side of them stands their respective paper servants, and the room contains many other paper effigies of products they would use in their home, such as a dressing table (complete with a mirror), a table and six stools, a money safe, a refrigerator, and trunks of paper clothes and cloth. After the marriage ceremony is complete, all of the paper belongings are burned to be sent to the spirit world to be used by the couple. [Ibid.]

Two spirit brides at their wedding ceremony. Featured in David K. Jordan’s Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors: The Folk Religion of a Taiwanese Village, p. 145.

In another ceremony that married a living groom to a ghost bride, the effigy was similar, but instead constructed with a wooden backbone, arms made from newspaper, and the head of “a smiling young girl clipped from a wall calendar." [Jordan, David K. "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors." p. 147.] Similarly, after the marriage festivities, the dummy is burned. [Ibid.] In both cases, the effigies wore real clothing, similar to that which is typically used in marriage ceremonies. This includes a pair of trousers, a white skirt, a red dress, with a lace outer dress. [Ibid.] Additionally, they were adorned with jewelry; though similar in fashion to that of a typical bride’s, it was not made of real gold. [Ibid.] If a living groom is marrying a ghost-bride, he will wear black gloves instead of the typical white. [Jordan, David K. "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors." p. 149.] Most of the marriage ceremony and rites are performed true to Chinese custom. In fact, “the bride was always treated as though she was alive and participating in the proceedings” [Wolf, Arthur P. "Studies in Chinese Society" p. 151.] from being fed at the wedding feast in the morning, to being invited in and out of the cab, to being told of her arrival at the groom’s house. [Ibid.] One observable difference in a ghost marriage is that that the ancestral tablet of the deceased is placed inside the effigy, so that “the bride’s dummy [is] animated with the ghost that [is] to be married,” [Jordan, David K. "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors." p. 147.] and then placed with the groom’s family’s tablets at the end of the marriage festivities. [Jordan, David K. "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors." p. 148.]

Modern Ghost Marriage in the News

Brea, Jen. “ ‘Ghost bride’ returns to haunt Chinese trio.” The Scotsman. 26 January 2007.http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=134732007

“Asia: Wet and dry goods; China’s corpse brides”. The Economist Newspaper. 26 July 2007. http://www.economist.com/world/asia/displaystory.cfm?story_id=9558423

Kramer, Michael. "A Day in The Life ...... Of China". Time Magazine. 2 October 1989.http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,958650-1,00.html

Other Links“Ghost Marriages.” Singapore Paranormal Investigation. 23 May 2005. http://www.spi.com.sg/spi_files/ghost_marriage/main00.htm (Follow link to see pictures from a 2005 ghost marriage.)

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