Everything Can Be Beaten

"Everything Can Be Beaten" is a short illustrated story written by Mr. Chancre Scolex, Illustrated by Mr. Crab Scrambly and Published by Slave Labor Graphics

Plot summary

This short story is about a masked character named IT, whose life consists of staying inside of a small building where he uses a hammer to smash kittens that fall out of a chute. One day he questions his existence, and noticing a door he's never seen behind him he decides to open it. Beyond it, he finds a happy and colorful world filled with oddly shaped creatures and smiling clouds. He skips around with joy until he realizes he is "alone in paradise". The inhabitants of the happy valley try to comfort him; however he doesn't understand words like "love" or "happiness" and thus it occurs to him to do the only thing he's ever known: beating things with his hammer. IT briefly wonders if he can beat things in this world and subsequently finds out he can. In the ensuing pages, he proceeds to kill all of the creatures in the world. He subsequently stops to think for a long period of time while life starts back up again and everything returns to how it was before (time appears to have no effect on IT). Finally, IT concludes that "Everything can be beaten!" This statement begins to lose meaning to him, and he wanders until eventually he finds his old home. As IT walks inside, he notices another masked axe-wielding fellow much like him, who has taken his place killing the kittens that fall from the chute. He is then filled with joy, thinking that at last he has a companion to tell all of his stories to. The last page shows him lying on the ground in a pool of blood with his mask over his face split in two lying next to him.

The inside back cover gives a description for Scolex and Scrambly.