San Sombrèro

San Sombrèro

Infobox Book
name = San Sombrèro
title_orig =
translator =


image_caption = "San Sombrèro: a Land of Carnivals, Cocktails and Coups"
author = Tom Gleisner; Santo Cilauro; Rob Sitch
illustrators = Michèle Burch, Bettina Guthridge
cover_artist =
country = Australian
language = English
series =
subject = Fictional country
genre = Travel; comedy
publisher = Jetlag travel guide
release_date = October 2006
english_release_date =
media_type =
pages = 200
isbn = 1 74066 385 3
preceded_by = Phaic Tăn
followed_by =

San Sombrèro is a fictional country set in Central America for the mock travel guide "San Sombrèro: a Land of Carnivals, Cocktails and Coups", described as the birthplace of tinted sunglasses and sequins. It was created by Australians Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch (of "The D-Generation" and "The Panel" fame) to parody travel guide books.

San Sombrèro

In Spanish, San Sombrèro would be translated into English as "Saint Hat", "San" being the shortened word for the Spanish word "santo" meaning saint, and "sombrero" (no accent mark in real-world Spanish) meaning hat.

According to the book the "full and technically correct" name of San Sombrèro is the "Democratic Free People’s United Republic of San Sombrèro", and citizens may be arrested, without a warrant, if the title is not used.

About San Sombrèro

The "Democratic Free People’s United Republic of San Sombrèro" is a composite of many stereotypes and cliches about Central America and South America.

The book says the nation has "362 separate public holidays (not including the 'carnivale' long weekend)". Also San Sombrèro is said to have had 17 different presidents over 10 years.

San Sombrèro is described as having a very high literacy rate because of an anti-illiteracy campaign in which, 'over 53,000 citizens who were unable to read [were] jailed or deported to Haiti'.

Before the arrival of the Spanish, San Sombrèro was said to inhabited by "Amer-Indian" ethnic groups, called the "Ciboney" (Siboney) (Nomadic hunter-gatherers), "Taino" (who lived on seafood), "Puorcina" (who practiced simple agriculture) and the most dominant "Guanajaxo" (they just stole from everyone else). But there was a tribe that existed before called the "Bollivquar" who were fierce warriors and regarded themselves as a very complex and advanced society, which is said to be odd because they 'never quite' mastered fire, irrigation or star jumps. But they learnt how to farm tobacco, which to this day still remains a part of the Bollivquar diet, which explains their stunted growth. Note that their inability to light a fire made it harder to take up smoking.

Language

San Sombrèro is a Spanish speaking country, but a dialect developed in San Sombrèro. San Sombrèran Spanish combines Castilian grammar, Portuguese pronunciation, and indigenous shouting. San Sombrèran Spanish is spoken a lot faster than normal Spanish, due to the fact that is considered impolite to take a breath during a sentence. (Particularly since their breath is so foul.) San Sombrèran Spanish has many Americanisms some of which are "beisbol" (baseball), "hamburgesas" (which is close to the actual Spanish word for hamburger, "hamburguesa"), beeras" (beers) and "dryvebyshooting" (drive by shooting).

National anthem

The San Sombrèran national anthem is O Patria Glorisa (O Glorious Motherland), which was written in 1853 by an independence leader Juan Robirro, who is famous for uttering "he who loves his country, lives forever" shortly before falling off a ladder and dying. The national anthem is set to a bossa nova beat, and loyal citizens of San Sombrèro will stand respectfully, place a hand on each hip and start to gyrate while the anthem is played.

*A verse :: My baby melts my heart:: My baby drives me nuts:: The way she swings her hips:: The way her hair hangs down:: Give me a kiss,:: Oh gorgeous woman:: Cover my lips:: In passionate bliss:: Long Live San Sombrèro:: Oh glorious fatherland

Flag

The flag of San Sombrèro is the "Camouflagio", which looks like army camouflage.

Regions

The capital city of San Sombrèro is Cucaracha City in Polluçión. There are five provinces in San Sombrèro including Polluçión, the other provinces are,
*Maracca (Capital: San Pistachio)
*Guacomala (Capital: Fumarole)
*Lambarda (Capital: Aguazura)
*San Abandonio (Capital: Nicotiño)

Unpublished Travel Guides

The book promises the never-released Unaudited Arab Emirates (the Middle East), Costa Lottsa (Southwest Europe), the semi-aquatic Barbituros Islands (the Caribbean), Alpenstein (the Alps), Tyranistan (Former Soviet Union), Nuku'la Atoll (South Pacific), frozen Norgborg (Scandinavia), and the miserable Isle of Fogg (Scotland). It also advertises it's website's geeky forum, including world tours for botanists and golfers, and an opportunity to spend a year in an untouched part of Europe. It ends with The Jetlag Story.

See also

* Fictional country
* Phaic Tăn
* Molvanîa


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