Chain Gang (Only Fools and Horses)

Only Fools and Horses episode
"Chain Gang"
Series	6
Writer	John Sullivan
Director	Tony Dow
Producer	Gareth Gwenlan
Duration	50 minutes 49:51 (DVD)
Airdate	22 January 1989
Audience	16.3 million

"Chain Gang" is an episode of the BBC sitcom, Only Fools and Horses. It was the third episode of series 6, and was first screened on 22 January 1989.

Synopsis

During a night at the One-Eleven Club, Rodney introduces Cassandra to Del Boy. They also meet Arnie, a retired jeweller from Lambeth, who interests the Trotters in 250 18 carat gold chains, which were supposed to be sold to a gangster named Mr. Maxi Stavros. However, Stavros has not made contact with Arnie for a considerable length of time, and Arnie is being forced to sell them at half their wholesale cost. Del forms a consortium of himself, Rodney, Albert, Boycie, Trigger, and Mike who, after verification by an independent jeweller, purchase the chains for £12,500. However, literally seconds after the deal has gone through, Arnie calls his wife, Patricia, who informs him that Stavros has made contact and is ready to purchase the chains. Arnie is distraught as he has shaken on the deal, and explains that as far as Stavros is concerned that means the chains are his, and he is not the type of man anybody would want to let down. The consortium argue amongst themselves for a while until Del calms the situation down with an idea. Arnie will sell the chains to Stavros on the consortium's behalf, for which he will be paid £2,000, meaning the consortium makes £10,500 for doing, in Mike's words "Sod All!".

At an Italian restaurant, Arnie, with the briefcase containing the chains handcuffed to his wrist, sits down and waits for Mr. Stavros. Del and Boycie keep an eye on him from another table, while Rodney and Albert wait outside in the Trotters' Reliant Regal van, backed up by Mike and Trigger who are in Mike's car, observing the deal a short distance from the restaurant. Suddenly, Arnie starts to have a heart attack, and collapses on the floor. A sagacious Boycie realises if the chains and cash accompany Arnie to a NHS hospital, the consortium risk having them stolen and "half the kitchen staff will be off to Miami". So, impersonating a doctor, Boycie discreetly tries to get the case, which is locked to Arnie's wrist. A fellow diner spots this and assaults Boycie. The restaurant's proprietor is about to call the Old Bill but Del is able to save Boycie by pretending to be a police officer. An ambulance oddly arrives immediately, and Arnie is taken to hospital. The group realises they must follow the ambulance so they know what hospital to visit, but Mike's car has been clamped. Rodney and Albert drive off after the ambulance in the Trotter Van, leaving the others stranded.

Back at Nelson Mandela House, Rodney and Albert return home to say that they lost the ambulance at a red traffic light, much to the bemusement and incredulity of Del Boy and Boycie. Del suggests that the group phone every hospital in London to find Arnie. Mike informs him hospitals don't give personal information over the phone. It's agreed they will, in person, visit all hospitals in London. It's then they receive a call from an Indian doctor who tells them Arnie has died. The doctor refuses to give Del the address to Arnie's house and hangs up. Del Boy wanted Arnie's address as Arnie's widow, Pat, had taken his possessions (which includes the 250 gold chains). Wondering what else to do, Rodney suggests that he'll go to Lambeth and look for Arnie's name on its electoral list, but neither he, Del, nor any of the others know Arnie's surname (plus, as Trigger points out, Arnie had only just moved from Lambeth and would not yet be on Peckham's electoral list). Mike then suggests the One Eleven Club - the venue where Del and Arnie first met - where they can find Arnie's address on his membership form. Del remembers Arnie wasn't a member so his address won't be registered. Albert has an idea: seeing as Arnie last used it to ring his wife, they could use the redial button on the Trotters' phone, and then discuss the funeral arrangements with his wife. Del gives it a try, but comes up short because Rodney phoned the Highcliffe Hotel, Guernsey (to contact Cassandra), after Arnie had phoned Pat. Now resigned to losing the gold chains for good, Mike, Boycie, and Trigger despondently leave the flat.

A few days later, while picking up Cassandra at the airport, Rodney spots Arnie - this time in West London - being carried into the same ambulance, by the same paramedics. At the Nag's Head, Del, Rodney, Albert, Mike, Boycie, and Trigger realise the awful truth: Arnie is a hustler who tricks prospective buyers into giving him their money, then fakes a heart-attack before the fabricated deal can go through. The group then reason that Arnie would have no trouble in acquiring an old ambulance driven by his two sons, Gary and Steven, which would be the perfect getaway vehicle for such deals; not only can it clear traffic through use of its siren, but it can also legally go through red lights. Del also notes that he had previously spoken to the manager of the Italian restaurant, who had noted that shortly after Arnie's ambulance had left, the real ambulance arrived. Del and Rodney also explain to Trigger that "Mr. Stavros" was just a ruse and never existed. They then hear that Denzil and his brothers are about to become the latest victims of Arnie's scam, but Denzil leaves the Nag's Head before Del and Rodney can warn him about Arnie:

“

Del: Denzil!! Don't buy them!! Rodney: You'll have to shout louder than that Del, he's halfway to Germany Del: Denzil!! NICHT BUYING THEM!!!

”

The next day, at an Indian restaurant in Stepney, Denzil and his brother Carl are keeping an eye on Arnie from a nearby table. Meanwhile, Gary and Steven (who are both revealed to take turns in doing the voice of the "Indian doctor") are standing by in their ambulance, waiting for their father to pull off his "dying swan" act. Arnie does so, but when he gets loaded into the ambulance, Arnie finds himself surrounded by Del Boy, Rodney, Albert, Mike, Boycie, and Trigger, all disguised as paramedics - in a clever double-cross, Del and his friends have bought their own ambulance with which to capture Arnie. Once Arnie's sons arrive at the restaurant, they are apprehended by Denzil and his brothers. A frightened Arnie tries to reason with his former customers, as Albert passes Del a large pair of bolt cutters. Arnie says there is no need to cut the chain, becauses he has the key. Del then remarks "Who said anything about cutting the chain?", and as a terrified Arnie begins to wheeze in terror, Del laughs and says to Arnie should be careful as he'll give himself a heart attack. Del Boy then smiles, and violently snaps the cutters together and the credits begin to roll.

Episode cast

Actor Role David Jason Del Boy Nicholas Lyndhurst Rodney Buster Merryfield Uncle Albert Gwyneth Strong Cassandra Philip McGough Arnie John Challis Boycie Roger Lloyd Pack Trigger

Actor Role Kenneth MacDonald Mike Paul Barber Denzil Mick Oliver Otto Frank Coda Mario (waiter) Sam Howard Steven Steve Fortune Gary Peter Rutherford Grayson

Music

• Mica Paris : My One Temptation
• Wet Wet Wet : Sweet Little Mystery

External links

• "Chain Gang" at TV.com
• "Chain Gang" at BBC Online
• "Chain Gang" at BBC Programmes
• "Chain Gang" at the Internet Movie Database

Preceded by "Danger UXD"

Only Fools and Horses 22 January 1989

Succeeded by "The Unlucky Winner Is..."