The Ballad of Japing Jesus

"The Ballad of Japing Jesus" is a poem by Oliver St John Gogarty. The first two stanzas were printed in Ulysses.

Full text

"The Song of the Cheerful (but slightly sarcastic) Jesus" [e206]

:I'm the queerest young fellow that ever was heard.:My mother's a Jew; my father's a Bird:With Joseph the Joiner I cannot agree:So 'Here's to Disciples and Calvary.'

:If anyone thinks that I amn't divine,:He gets no free drinks when I'm making the wine:But have to drink water and wish it were plain:That I make when the wine becomes water again.

:My methods are new and are causing surprise::To make the blind see I throw dust in their eyes:To signify merely there must be a cod:If the Commons will enter the Kingdom of Good

:Now you know I don't swim and you know I don't skate:I came down to the ferry one day and was late.:So I walked on the water and all cried, in faith!:For a Jewman it's better than having to bathe.

:Whenever I enter in triumph and pass:You will find that my triumph is due to an ass:(And public support is a grand sinecure:When you once get the public to pity the poor.)

:Then give up your cabin and ask them for bread:And they'll give you a stone habitation instead:With fine grounds to walk in and raincoat to wear:And the Sheep will be naked before you'll go bare.

:The more men are wretched the more you will rule:But thunder out 'Sinner' to each bloody fool;:For the Kingdom of God (that's within you) begins:When you once make a fellow acknowledge he sins.

:Rebellion anticipates timely by 'Hope,':And stories of Judas and Peter the Pope:And you'll find that you'll never be left in the lurch:By children of Sorrows and Mother the Church

:Goodbye, now, goodbye, you are sure to be fed:You will come on My Grave when I rise from the Dead:What's bred in the bone cannot fail me to fly:And Olivet's breezy-- Goodbye now Goodbye.