How to Make Enemies and Irritate People

Infobox Album | Name = How To Make Enemies and Irritate People
Type = Album
Artist = Screeching Weasel


Released = 1994, 2005
Recorded = 1994
Genre = Punk rock, pop punk
Length = 28:33
Label = Lookout!, Asian Man
Producer = Mass Giorgini, Ben Weasel
Reviews = *Allmusic Rating|3|5 [http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:2amsa9cgu23f link]
Last album = "Anthem for a New Tomorrow"
(1993)
This album = "How to Make Enemies and Irritate People"
(1994)
Next album = "Kill the Musicians"
(1995)

"How To Make Enemies and Irritate People" was meant to be Screeching Weasel's last album. Shortly after the release of 1993's "Anthem For A New Tomorrow", bassist/backup vocalist/songwriting collaborator Danny Vapid left the band. The rest of the band felt that they had run out of steam, but wanted to record the last batch of songs they'd written. Since Vapid had left, they recruited Mike Dirnt from Green Day to fill in on bass and backing vocals. This was around the time when Green Day was experiencing an explosion in popularity, and Dirnt had to leave the sessions at one point to play on the "The Late Show with David Letterman". The band split up with the release of the album and shut down their post office box. Ben Weasel, Danny Vapid, and drummer Dan Panic formed the more Ramones-influenced Riverdales and guitarist Jughead took time off from music to write and direct plays. The band would return just a few years later with Vapid back on bass for the "Bark Like A Dog" album on Fat Wreck Chords. "Enemies" was out of print for a short while but was remastered and re-released in 2005 on Asian Man Records.

Track listing

*All songs by Ben Weasel, except track 4 by B. and L. Paine, track 8 by Ben Weasel and Danny Vapid, and track 10 by Ben Weasel and Joe King.

# "Planet of the Apes" – 1:50
# "99" – 2:17
# "I Hate Your Guts on Sunday" – 1:39
# "Jonny Are You Queer?" – 2:07
# "Time Bomb" – 1:15
# "Burnout Girl" – 2:20
# "If I Was You" – 2:04
# "Nobody Likes You" – 2:05
# "Degenerate" – 2:03
# "Surf Goddess" – 3:25
# "Kathy Isn't Right" – 1:25
# "Kathy's on the Roof" – 2:39
# "I Wrote Holden Caulfield" – 2:47

Personnel

*Ben Weasel - vocals/guitar
*Mike Dirnt - bass/backing vocals
*Jughead - guitar
*Dan Panic - drums
*Gretchen Smear - backing vocals on "Johnny Are You Queer?"

The songs

"Enemies" is a collection of the songs written between the time "Anthem For A New Tomorrow" was recorded and the band decided to break up. As such, it does not necessarily have the feel or flow of a proper album, but does contain some of Weasel's strongest songwriting. When the reunited band played a handful of live shows in 2004, some songs from "Enemies" were played live for the first time. They fit very well with the mood of songs from the later albums like "Emo".

The album starts with one of Weasel's trademark attacks on the punk rock scene, the not-very-subtle "Planet of the Apes." The song lacks the eloquence Weasel employed on the last album, but makes up for it with humor. Weasel seems to be expressing his distaste for the "tough guy" element that was becoming more and more prevalent in punk at the time.

"99" is a break-up song about a character from the television series Get Smart. It's possible that Weasel was writing an autobiographical song with the names changed (he has admitted to doing this quite often). The majority of the song is spent discussing how difficult it is to forget the girl in question, but by the end Weasel has moved on. He admits he will get over it and find another girl, as the one he lost is not entirely unique, but he'll always remember her.

"I Hate Your Guts On Sunday" is one of Weasel's sillier songs, tackling his own fickle nature. He hates the person in question only on Sunday, but "every other day I think you're totally cool."

"Johnny Are You Queer?" is a cover of a 1982 song by Josie Cotton which was featured in the movie "Valley Girl".

"Time Bomb" is a song about relationship problems seen from a third person perspective. One person treats the other as an "accessory" and a trophy, and the narrator knows that once they're alone, "all the numbers hit zero." Like many Weasel songs, it touches on a real human issue with a sense of fun and humor. Also, it follows in Weasel's tradition of writing relationship songs from a point of view not usually taken in songwriting.

"Burnout Girl" is a song about an idealized girl, much like "Thrift Store Girl" on the last album. The song is from the point of view of someone waiting outside the object of their affection's window late at night, hoping to "rescue" them and making various statements of devotion. The narrator sees nothing but hopelessness in both of their lives and wants the girl to "come on out and do something else." The lyrics show a more romantic side of Weasel that would emerge more fully realized on later albums like "Emo" and "Television City Dream". "The First Day of Winter" from the latter describes almost this exact same scenario.

Weasel takes on the idea of the grass being greener on the other side in "If I Was You." He addresses those who think he may "have it made," while he sees himself as just killing time. He seems to be wishing for a way out of his current situation, which may be an explanation for why the band broke up when it did.

"Nobody Likes You" is a blatant insult track, not unlike "Fathead" from "My Brain Hurts". It is the only song on the album co-written with Danny Vapid. The lyrics are fairly juvenile, but feature some hilarious rhymes, such as "dumb and mean" with "Dramamine."

"Degenerate" is another hint of things to come with Weasel's writing, as it showcases his self-proclaimed "curmudgeonly" mindset. It's a slightly self-effacing jab at the punk scene and its "teenage soap opera" mentality. Weasel, once again, clearly wishes to distance himself from this.

Like "Like a Parasite" from "Wiggle", "Surf Goddess" was co-written with Joe King from The Queers, and a version of the song was also recorded by his band. The song is a pretty straightforward ode to California girls from a boy stuck in Illinois. He fawns over her life of hanging out in clubs while he's "gotta shovel the snow."

The next two songs are both about a girl named Kathy who seems to have some mental illness. Both songs mention suicide attempts (one successful). Both also make mention of her being institutionalized without the problem being solved. Neither has much hope for its subject, and they subtly criticize the way mental illness is "cured" in modern times. As usual, they are delivered with Weasel's standard sardonic delivery. The songs are reminiscent of "Jeannie's Got A Problem With Her Uterus" on "Wiggle", touching on real human problems filtered through humor to make them a bit more bearable.

Ending the album and the band's second life is "I Wrote Holden Caulfield," seemingly a response (if only in the title) to Green Day's "Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?" from their "Kerplunk!" album. It addresses an anonymous subject going through trying times, attempting to console and calm them with sentiments like "don't tell me that things don't get better 'cause sometimes they do." The tone shifts from sympathy to one of seeming annoyance by the end, repeating "why don't you stop crying" and advising the person to put their problems in perspective. This song appeared on the few live shows the band played in 2004 and fit in perfectly with the more introspective songs the band was recording and performing at that time. This song is a bit of a precursor to the mood Weasel would set on the "Emo" album in 1999. The song ends abruptly with the word "done", and after approximately 7 seconds of silence, Weasel's voice chimes in saying " [...] I said: I think that's it, and I don't even want to try it again." It's a comment that was most likely made in reference to a take of one of the songs, but provides a fitting end to that part of the band's life.

Trivia

*When originally released on Lookout Records, the insert contained a detail discography of almost every release Screeching Weasel appeared on up to that point. This was omitted from the reissue on Asian Man Records.

*The original Lookout! CD release in 1994 featured slightly different song titles on the back of the album. They were: Planet of the Dupes, 86, I Love Yer Nuts on Monday, Johnny is That Beer?, Slime Pond, Burnt Out Squirrel, If I Was Hugh, Nobody Bites You, Da Genitals, Smurf Goddess, Kathy's Not Too Light, Kathy's On the Moon, and I Wrote Ignatius J. Reilly.

*The CD reissue on Asian Man Records was to contain liner notes by Mass Giorgini. However, he finished them too late to be included so the appeared in the Kill the Musicians reissue instead.

*The album's title is a parody of the best-selling Dale Carnegie book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.