Won't you please oblige us with a Bren Gun?

Won't you please oblige us with a Bren Gun? is a humorous song written and composed by Noel Coward in 1943.

Like much of Coward's work it displays skill at wordplay and evokes a feeling of both good humour and patriotic pride. The song pokes fun at the disorder and shortages of equipment, supplies and effective leadership that the Home Guard experienced during the Second World War.

Coward was often the best interpreter of his own work, and his recording of this song is no exception. It is available on several compilation albums and box sets of Coward's songs.
Graham Payn, Coward's long time companion and literary executor, said that the song could have been used as a theme song for the British television series "Dad's Army" which found humour in the same subject: the exploits of the Home Guard. Indeed, the song was later featured in the West End stage show of television programme.