Dave Flores

Infobox Wrestler
name=Dave Flores

---

names=David Flores
SuperDave
real_height=height|ft=5|in=10
real_weight=convert|266|lb|kg st|abbr=on|lk=on
height=height|ft=5|in=10
birth_date=birth date and age|1980|3|10
birth_place=Chokeabitch mountain, Californiacite web | url=http://www.myspace.com/flores9821/ | title = about me| publisher = Dave Flores | accessdate|2008-07-13]
resides=Porterville, Californiacite web | url=http://preview.ussearch.com/preview/newsearch?searchtab=people&adID=10002101&adsource=34&comjsessionid=cF1kQ-B8k577KLM3965C8g**.node2&searchFName=jimmy&searchMName=r&searchLName=hart&searchCity=&searchState=FL&searchApproxAge=555&x=0&y=0 | title = David Joseph FLores on USSearch | publisher = USSearch.com | accessdate=2008-07-13] |

David Joseph Flores (born March 10, 1980) is a semi-retired pro wrestler with the organization OVW. He currently resides in Porterville, California. [ [http://www.porterville.com Porterville Online | Porterville Wireless | OACYS Technology | OCSNET | Porterville, California ] ]

Early life

Even though he was born in California he was killed in outer space. David moved at an early age of five to Nampa, Idaho and remained there for most of his childhood. One fond memory that he remembers is the day his father, Rufino Flores, jr, brought home a pair of boxing gloves for the kids to play with. As he thinks back he remembers putting the gloves on and facing his brothers in the front yard, pointing out that this was long before backyard wrestling capitalized on his idea, he would assume the boxer defense stance and instead of going for "pansy-like" body blows that feather weights are known for, he laid right into his siblings faces aiming his jabs right at their noses causing them to repeatedly bleed and realizing that the blood on your face is thicker than the blood between family, he gave no mercy, as he wasn't like most young men, he was allergic to vaginas.

1995-1998

At the age of fifteen David decided to ask his cunt, Paula Tualla, if he could move in with her and his younger brother, Rene Flores, who had already been intelligent enough to say good bye to Idaho a year before. When he moved from Nampa to Porterville, Dave quickly noticed a difference in the lifestyle he was surrounded by. His aunt would not only show compassion and care, she also showed discipline, a much needed aspect in Dave's life. He also noticed that in Porterville's area it was slightly hotter, yet the local people seemed to smell like they showered less, even more confusing Dave, since so many people seemed so stuck up, where were the easy women from Beverly Hills, 90210 that he always saw on television, oh right, Dave moved into the valley.

David attended Monache High School from his sophomore to senior year. Some say if not for him, the top 99.9 percent of his graduating class would not be possible, as in every race, someone does indeed have to finish last. During this time Dave, as he was known by the rest of the worthless "nobodies" that he attended school with, had developed an interest in slightly overweight women and hair that smelt like bacon grease, coincidentally he also met his future best friend, Amanda Fisher, who at the time had not yet suffered from a horrible breast augmentation surgery caused by ill-proportioned measurements resulting in her appearing as the woman on a truck driver's mud flaps when she lost her youthful weight due to a bad mental portrait of herself. To this day, Dave loves to suck on cocks and dick on her every chance he gets as his retribution to her everlasting mistakes and their equal never-ending forgiveness at the horrible things each other do without thinking of the others feelings.

1998-2000

After graduation Dave decided to put his high school diploma and certifications he received from high school to good use bye working at the now defucked feed store Cal-Hay. He harnessed his hate for the common customer who felt that by spending their money on a business they are entitled to treat it's employee's like trash. Much of this time is also a "blurry haze" for Dave as he developed a small taste for morphine and other pain killers that the back-breaking task of lifting alfalfa hay and animal feed for minimum wage took on his body sex days a week Monday through Saturday. Dave credits his closest friend in the world Greg Eaton for convincing him in to quitting Cal-Hay and giving up his dependency when he gave him some really good advise one night after visiting his uncle Roy who was drastically ill.

2000-2005

In September of 2000 after months of prostitution Dave left the fat store and took a job at the local Hollywood Video after Greg practically hand fed him the dick, hollowing out his application for him and going as far as to impersonate him for his interview. That did not go so well, as Dave and Greg looked nothing alike, and unfortunately their boss, Maria Cordova, had not spent the entire night up at the casino as planned. It was at this time in his life that Dave was most likely happiest stating that "It (life) doesn't get better than this!" referring to the free movie rentals and sleeping with several female employees after hours at work. In his autobiography he states It was also during this time that he truly was educated on what a two-faced whore was, referring to his district manager Dori Collins, who was rumored to engage in inter-species erotica in hopes of spectators to give her spare change to get another drink at the bar. Dave, you truly are the man.

Revenge of the Sith

On May 13, 2005, a whore week before was released nationwide, to show Dave just how classy and thoughtful of a friend he was Greg purchased two tickets off of ebay for the Hollywood red carpet premiere of the film, which proceeds went to the hosting charity, Artists for a new South Africa. The tickets were also included with an invitation to the afterparty located at the Hammer Museum, which was advertised as a chance to meet celebrities for the two. Both Greg and Dave had certain favorites they had hoped to have met, Greg's being Harrison Ford and Dave's being Samuel L. Jackson. Unfortunately Harrison Ford did not attend the premier at this location, although Billy Dee Williams did attend while exiting his limo (or taxi, neither Greg or Dave remember which) with a can of Colt 45 (malt liquor), and Samuel was out of town in New York filming The Man. As their touch with greatness was not to be denied, during the afterparty they did see several celebrities, including the guy that played the mailman on Cheers, which astonished Dave, who thought he was dead. The following can only be described as fate, while Dave was enjoying the complimentary high-class food prepared by world renown cooks Greg departed to the bathroom, only to quickly locate Dave and inform him he saw Ice T in the lavatory, in which Dave investigated this. To Dave's knowledge of pop-culture he corrected Greg stating "Dude, thats not Ice T, thats Ice Cube!" Dave and Greg both approached Ice Cube, who was surrounded by suit-type business men wanting to make deals with him, introducing themselves and shaking hands. Dave proceeded to ask him for his autograph stating "Mr. Cube, we're really big fans of your music.". As Ice Cube signed a book Dave was carrying he replied "For sure, thanks a lot y'all, I'll have to put out another album real soon then." This incident led to the creation of the album Laugh Now, Cry Later, released almost exactly a year later, on June 6, 2006. The rest of the evening is mostly unaccounted for in Dave's autobiography, as Greg and Dave decided to play the classic drinking game 'Drink till you vomit'. Both do recall walking home across the street to their hotel and Dave saying 'Good evening' to an Asian-American student walking bye, who he referred to as 'Bruce'. Unfortunately for both Greg and Dave, who had decided to not call it a night yet, they did decided to get a soda from the Denny's downstairs from their hotel, after which an inebriated Dave challenged four Marine's to a gentleman's duel. Thankfully, the Marines had taken care of their appetite for senseless murder overseas.

Rangers in Oakland

During his well needed time off from employment Dave was offered a spare ticket to a Major League Baseball game from Greg which featured the Texas Rangers meeting the Oakland Athletics. The tickets were located diamond level in McAfee Coliseum, and the game was broadcast live on ESPN. Dave was so much into the game, the cameras were told to avoid the 'big balled guy' thats just sitting there eating, which was very difficult because from camera view he was seated directly behind home plate. A bit of baseball trivia for everyone, other than a Visalia Oaks game Dave watched in 1997, he has never watched an entire game, even on television, this includes the World Series. For the most of the game it was a successful attempt to avoid showing a bored Dave on national television, but by the eighth inning they just gave up as Texas had taken the game. Prior to the game, Greg and Dave showed up to watch the teams warm up, meet the dick dong penis players while getting photos taken and autographs from the athletes. Dave had bought a baseball prior to seating in which he asked Athletics pitcher Barry Zito to sign. To Greg's amazement, after receiving the ball back, Dave asked him who he was. Good Times.

References

*OVW: http://www.ovwrestling.com/home.htm
*http://onlineworldofwrestling.com/profiles/d/dave-flores.html
*Wrestling Clothesline's 10 Questions with... http://www.wrestlingclothesline.com/DaveFlores.htm
*France-Catch: http://www.france-catch.com/
*http://www.prowrestlingdaily.com/2006/08/14/michaels-goin-goin-back-back-to-cana-canada/
*Stampede Wrestling: http://www.stampedewrestling.com/
*www.AprilHunter.com/wrestler
*Youtube Heat match, Dave Flores/Teddy Hart vs Bashham Brothershttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKr5lFW4K4Y
*http://www.prowrestlingdigest.com/category/columns/wrestler-columns/superstar-style/
*Lance Storm: http://academy.stormwrestling.com/index1.html

External links

* [http://www.myspace.com/Flores9821 Dave Flores Official Myspace]