Cultural views of love

Persian

"Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth you owe me. Look what happens with a Love like that, It lights the whole Sky."Iranian ( Persian ) Poet and Mystic, Hafez

Rumi, Hafez and Omar Khayyam are just symbols of the passion and love that the Persian culture and language presents.

Over seven centuries ago, Sa'di, an Iranian poet, wrote the following verses:

"The children of Adam are limbs of each otherHaving been created of one essence.When the calamity of time afflicts one limbThe other limbs cannot remain at rest.If thou hast no sympathy for the troubles of othersThou art unworthy to be called by the name of a man."

Love in Persian is the word Eshgh. In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, but for starters we practice loving our friends and family, then our husbands and wives, our country and culture, and eventually the ultimate love of divine love which is the ultimate goal in life.

Chinese and other Sinic cultures

In contemporary Chinese language and culture, several terms or root words are used for the concept of "love":

*"Ai" (愛) is used as a verb (e.g. "Wo ai ni", "I love you") or as a noun, especially in "aiqing" (愛情), "love" or "romance." In mainland China since 1949, "airen" (愛人, originally "lover," or more literally, "love person") is the dominant word for "spouse" (with separate terms for "wife" and "husband" originally being de-emphasized); the word once had a negative connotation, which it retains among many on Taiwan.

*"Lian" (戀) is not generally used alone, but instead as part of such terms as "being in love" (談戀愛, "tan lian'ai"—also containing "ai"), "lover" (戀人, "lianren") or "homosexuality" (同性戀, "tongxinglian").

*"Qing" (情), commonly meaning "feeling" or "emotion," often indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word "aiqing" (愛情); "qingren" (情人) is a term for "lover".

In Confucianism, "lian" is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of "ai" (愛) in reaction to Confucian "lian". "Ai", in Mohism, is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. Extravagance and offensive war are inimical to "ai". Although Mozi's thought was influential, the Confucian "lian" is how most Chinese conceive of love.

"Gănqíng" (感情), the "feeling" of a relationship, vaguely similar to empathy. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, accomplished through helping or working for another and emotional attachment toward another person or anything.

"Yuanfen" (緣份) is a connection of bound destinies. A meaningful relationship is often conceived of as dependent strong yuanfen. It is very similar to serendipity. A similar conceptualization in English is, "They were made for each other," "fate," or "destiny".

"Zaolian" (Simplified: 早恋, Traditional: 早戀, pinyin: "zǎoliàn"), literally, "early love," is a contemporary term in frequent use for romantic feelings or attachments among children or adolescents. "Zaolian" describes both relationships among a teenaged boyfriend and girlfriend, as well as the "crushes" of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates a prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture that due to the demands of their studies (especially true in the highly competitive educational system of China), youth should not form romantic attachments lest their jeopardize their chances for success in the future. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon and its perceived dangers to students and the fears of parents.

Japanese

In Japanese Buddhism, "ai" (愛) is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.

"Amae" (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence", is part of the child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on the mother-child amae.

Ancient Greek

Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. For example, ancient Greek has the words "philia", "eros", "agape", "storge" and "xenia". However, with Greek as with many other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time the ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb "agapo" being used with the same meaning as "phileo".

"Agape" (polytonic|ἀγάπη "agápē") means "love" in modern day Greek. The term "s'agapo" means "I love you" in Greek. The word "agapo" is the verb "I love". It generally refers to a "pure", ideal type of love rather than the physical attraction suggested by "eros". However, there are some examples of "agape" used to mean the same as "eros". It has also been translated as "love of the soul".

"Eros" (polytonic|ἔρως "érōs") is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word "erota" means "in love". Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body".

"Philia" (polytonic|φιλία "philía"), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. Can also mean "love of the mind".

"Storge" (polytonic| "storgē") is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

"Xenia" (ξενία "xenía"), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and their guest, who could previously be strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was only expected to repay with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology, in particular Homer's "Iliad" and "Odyssey".

Turkish (Shaman & Islamic)

In Turkish the word "Love" comes up with several meanings. A person can love the god, a person,the parents or the family. But that person can "Love" just one person from the opposite sex which they call the word " Ask ".

"Ask" is a feeling for "to love", as it still is in Turkish today. The Turks used this word just for their romatic loves in a romantic or sexual sense. If a Turk says that he is in Love (Ask) with somebody, it is not a love that a person can feel for his or her parents. It is just for one person and it indicates a huge infactuation.

Ancient Roman (Latin)

The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word 'love'.

"Amare" is the basic word for "to love", as it still is in Italian today. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense, as well as in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb come "amans", a lover, amator, 'professional lover', often with the accessory notion of lechery, and "amica", 'girlfriend' in the English sense, often as well being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is "amor", which is also used in the plural form to indicate 'love affairs' or 'sexual adventures'. This same root also produces "amicus", 'friend', and "amicitia", 'friendship' (often based on mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to 'indebtedness' or 'influence'). Cicero wrote a treatise called "On Friendship" ("de Amicitia") which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called "Ars Amatoria" ("The Art of Lovers"), which addresses in depth everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents.

Complicating the picture somewhat, Latin sometimes uses "amare" where English would simply say "to like"; this notion, however, is much more generally expressed in Latin by "placere" or "delectare", which are used more colloquially, and the latter of which is used frequently in the love poetry of Catullus.

"Diligere" often has the notion 'to be affectionate for', 'to esteem', and rarely if ever is used of romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship of two men. The corresponding noun "diligentia", however, has the meaning 'diligence' 'carefulness' and has little semantic overlap with the verb.

"Observare" is a synonym for 'diligere'; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun 'observantia' often denote 'esteem' or 'affection'.

"Caritas" is used in Latin translations of the Christian Bible to mean 'charitable love'. This meaning, however, is not found in Classical pagan Roman literature. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.

Religious views

Christian

The Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman, eros in Greek, and the unselfish love of others, agape, are often contrasted as 'ascending' and 'descending' love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing. [ [http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est_en.html Pope Benedict XVI, papal encyclical, Deus Caritas Est.] ]

There are several Greek words for Love that are regularly referred to in Christian circles.
* Agape - In the New Testament, "agap" is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love seen as creating goodness in the world, it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another.
* Phileo - Also used in the New Testament, "Phileo" is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as "brotherly love".
* Two other words for love in the Greek language -- Eros (sexual love) and storge (needy child-to-parent love) were never used in the New Testament.

Christians believe that to "Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength" and "Love your neighbor as yourself" are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of the Jewish Torah, according to Jesus - c.f. Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28-34). Saint Augustine summarized this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt".

Paul the Apostle glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing love in the famous poem in 1 Corinthians he wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." - 1 Cor. 13:4-7 (NIV)

John the Apostle wrote, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." - John 3:16-18 (NIV)

John also wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." - 1 John 4:7-8 (NIV)

Saint Augustine says that one must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine, is an over indulgence, but to love and be loved is what he has sought for his entire life. He even says, "“I was in love with love.”" Finally, he does fall in love and is loved back, by God. Saint Augustine says the only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as, "“jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.”" According to Saint Augustine to love God is "“to attain the peace which is yours.”" (Saint Augustine Confessions)

Christian theologians see God as the source of love, which is mirrored in humans and their own loving relationships. Influential Christian theologian C.S. Lewis wrote a book called "The Four Loves".

Benedict XVI wrote his first encyclical on God is love. He said that a human being, created in the image of God who is love, is able to practice love: to give himself to God and others (agape), by receiving and experiencing God's love in contemplation (eros). This life of love, according to him, is the life of the saints such as Teresa of Calcutta and the Blessed Virgin Mary, and is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them. [ [http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est_en.html Pope Benedict XVI, papal encyclical, Deus Caritas Est.] ]

Buddhist

In Buddhism, "Kma" is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish.

"Karu" is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom, and is necessary for enlightenment.

"Advea" and "maitr" are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from the ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex, which rarely occur without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.

The Bodhisattva ideal in Mahayana Buddhism involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish, altustic love for all sentient beings.

Hindu

In Hinduism "kma" is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kama. For many Hindu schools it is the third end in life ("artha").

In contrast to "kāma", "prema" or "prem" refers to elevated love. However, the term "bhakti" is used to mean the higher, divine love.

"Karuna" is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others.

"Bhakti" is a Sanskrit term from Hinduism meaning 'loving devotion to the supreme God'. A person who practices bhakti is called "bhakta". Hindu writers, theologians, and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of devotion that they call bhakti, for example in the Bhagavatha-Purana and according to Tulsidas. The philosophical work "Narada Bhakti Sutras" written by an unknown author (presumed to be Narada) distinguishes eleven forms of love.

Islamic

In a sense, love does encompass the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood which applies to all who hold the faith. There are no direct references stating that God is love, but amongst the 99 names of God (Allah), there is the name "Al-Wadud" or 'the Loving One', which is found in Surah 11:90 as well as Surah 85:14. It refers to God as being "full of loving kindness". In Islam, love is more often than not used as an incentive for sinners to aspire to be as worthy of God's love as they may. One still has God's love, but how the person evaluates his own worth is to his own and God's own counsel. All who hold the faith have God's love, but to what degree or effort he has pleased God depends on the individual itself.

"Ishq", or divine love, is the emphasis of Sufism. Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God "looks" at itself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices to see the beauty inside the apparently ugly. Sufism is often referred to as the religion of Love. God in Sufism is referred to in three main terms which are the Lover, Loved, and Beloved with the last of these terms being often seen in Sufi poetry. A common viewpoint of Sufism is that through Love humankind can get back to its inherent purity and grace. The saints of Sufism are infamous for being "drunk" due to their Love of God hence the constant reference to wine in Sufi poetry and music.

Jewish

In Hebrew "Ahava" is the most commonly-used term for both interpersonal love and love of God. Other related but dissimilar terms are "Chen" (grace) and "Hesed", which basically combines the meaning of "affection" and "compassion" and is sometimes rendered in English as "loving-kindness".

Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both between people and between man and the Deity. As for the former, the Torah states: "Love your neighbor like yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). As for the latter, one is commanded to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might" (Deuteronomy 6:5), taken by the Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all one's possessions and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs how this love can be developed, e.g. by contemplating Divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature.

As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The Biblical book Song of Songs is considered a romantically-phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading reads like a love song.

The 20th century Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point-of-view as "giving without expecting to take" (from his "Michtav me-Eliyahu", vol. 1). Romantic love "per se" has few echoes in Jewish literature, although the Medieval Rabbi Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic in his younger years (he appears to have regretted this later).

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